RESULTS... THE OUTCOMES (...of all that)?
The results of all of this... remains ill-defined as to what form it might take... essays, images, or simply more blither blather...
The most insidious of the three missions begins • He ventures out with no meaning at all; hopefull to find a glorious... nothing • perfect... so far • FIRST WARNING: this mission offers the distinct possibility of becoming weepy and sentimental, it is afterall an exploration of WHY I came up with these silly ideas some 35 years ago; WHY I'm re-tackling them now, AND what has transpired over these last 35 years that has prompted the changes to the final look n' feel n' meaning to these things • SECOND WARNING: IT IS A WORK in PROGRESS... PROGRESS being the end game... it may never be finished... Do NOT invest in any expectation on how this may all turn out. • THIRD WARNING: Beware the lull. From time to time we may experience flurried rushes of activity, don't let this make you feel the need to keep coming back... as... no doubt there will be stretches that leave it all feeling abandoned... we've other stories of the stinking ego to tell and ARTISTS to ARM... forecast calls for fits and starts...
JUNE 23 - I've an inkling of an idea of how to present this mission (finally) - let's wait and see.
Let's start MISSION THREE with inspirations why don't we... and, we'll start with the things I was most likely suffering from or, er... finding inspirational... a way back.... back prior to and at the zenith, the Halcyon Days of this Ancient Art Career.
...what makes little boys tick? More so, what makes little boy-wanna-be architects tick? Who turns on the kids growing up between the bay and the cow pastures? • Did I really like this shit, or did it simply suit my need to be a little different than the jocko-boys and future engineering students I knew I'd never be (couldn't be)?
...and, what of motives discovered at mere puberty? Over all these years... refined? rationalized? When she held your drawings up to the class, you felt... joy? pride? validation? • What drug released... why were you quietly embarrassed? Weren't you? I was...
When I was a boy... I wanted to be an architect, I wanted to build big things, buildings and stadiums (and really cool houses)... When that dream vanished (a long story of leaving one's ego in the hands of a child's mind)... I settled for Art School. I just walked in. Barely noticing how crushed those who were denied this... all they'd ever wanted... perhaps guilt, refined after all these years? Indeed... what of motives discovered at mere... puberty?
APR 28 ...I found, was given a new art studio last night. Only a few thousand sq ft larger, but... it's not rented, it's my own. Rather than tape... I can beat the living crap outta this puppy... We're settling in nicely :-)
...and don't for a moment think we didn't notice, more...
MAY 10 I've a sneaking suspicion we're going to be stuck on the topic of inspiration for some time yet. It would appear that this is the only thing that is driving this whole thing forward... for now.
RESULT: Ancient Inspirations (part one)
The importance of looking earnest & heroic... (there are many more they will appear, maybe along with a woman or two)
Let's start MISSION THREE with IMPETUS why don't we...
Let's just admit this one... AFTER 10 days... IMPETUS is going to be a very difficult submission to complete (or move towards completion for that matter)... The ride is about to get a bit more wild... perhaps.
submission B: RECENT IMPETUS
started May 9th with a trip to Modern Fuel... this may take a while to piece together...
A GRAND MANIFESTO? when one asks why?
...and the search for meaning and purpose rather than answers and solutions
"I could... but I don't want to..."
A SKEWERED HEART
THE SACRED NUT
Let's start with a few, are they troubling questions? This process, this path is littered with hundreds (well maybe not hundreds, but more than a few)....
The other night, I had a dream. The first dream I had remembered in quite some time. A friend and I were wandering down a wooded path. We came across a Park Ranger. I didn't recognize this Park Ranger but he seemed familiar, I felt I knew him. He told us that there was a little known path just up ahead and suggested that we take it. We took the path, it was quite short. It lead to a large boulder upon which we climbed. When we reached the top of the bolder we found a large metal cross had been bolted onto the boulder. Beside the cross was an unlit candle. The Park Ranger appeared and told us that we could light the candle but if we did so, to make sure that we extinguish it before we left and to leave it for the next people to climb atop the boulder...
I woke up...